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Please consider upgrading your browser software or enabling style sheets CSS if you are able to do so.Get over a break up when you have mutual friends Archive ,Wow this site really has hit the nail on the head with how I have been feeling, and everything I have gone through since my EXBF broke up with me. I'm hoping you will be able to give me some more great advice. ,My ex and I broke up almost 3 months ago. He said he just didn't have romantic feelings for me anymore. He thought he was just going through the motions. We had been going out for a little more than 6 months he said he had felt that way for the past month. ,Since then I have basically done almost everything that one is tempted to do after a break up. I cried didn't sleep didn't eat wrote him a few emails ran into him everywhere cried some more texted him when I said I wouldn't. ,He said he wanted to be friends, and I thought he really meant it. Last month he went with me to a baseball game for work we had planned this prior to breaking up. I wasn't pleasantly surprised that we had a lot of fun joking around and just generally having a good time. We hooked up afterwards bad idea I know I knew it was only because we were both drunk at the time not that he wanted to get back together. Well at the game he said he thought we could continue to hang out yet he never called. ,Well last Thursday, I had asked one of my good friends if she wanted to go out with me that night I told her to invite whoever I didn't think she would invite him she invited all of our friends, and apparently he wanted to come. There were just a few of us and him. Instead of treating me like a friend like he had the time before this time he said hi but basically didn't really want much to do with me. It really hurt my feelings. ,Now I'm conflicted I really want him in my life and to be his friend, but its incredibly hard on me and probably not a good idea. I know I need to keep my distance from him, but we have about 40 of the same friends, so I always see their pictures of him on Facebook, and hear about them all hanging out. I know I'll run into him again. It just tears me up inside to not be able to hang out with him anymore to know that everyone else is. ,I think it hurts so much because he was the first guy that I've seriously dated after college I'm 25 and that I felt I could probably spend the rest of my life with. I know I need to institute the NC rule, but every time I try I fail. I've been trying to get him off my mind, but he's on my mind CONSTANTLY even after 3 months. How do I end this Ive been going to the gym a few times a week, I've also taking up jogging and I'm taking golfing lessons, I've joined a kickball league and made some new friends. I go out every time someone invites me out I'm bsically never home anymore Im so busy, but he's always in the back of my mind. ,Q1. How do I get him out of my mind its starting to affect my work. ,Q2. With so many mutual friends how do I deal with this ,Q3. What do I say when I see him out He's sometimes nice, and sometimes its like he doesn't want me around ,Q4. Is there smoethign else I can be doing to move on ,Q5. I dread being home alone now how do I get over that ,Sorry about the long post and all the questions. I appreciate your help. ,I wish ,Jul 14, 2009, 04:39 PM ,A few things to keep in mind. Though no contact seems like a good idea, you have to understand why you need to implement no contact. ,First of all, you have this idea that you're going to be friends. So you've set some sort of expectation, which is prolonging your healing process. This is how the process works. You have to completely heal from the break up first and foremost. To heal, you need to worry about yourself. You need to take care of yourself. ,If you feel that reminders of him is hindering your progress, that's when you implement no contact. No contact is used because you are having a difficult time getting over him. ,If one day you get over him, then you can try to be friends. But until you've fully recovered, you have to stop having the expectations that the two of you will try to be friends. ,If you feel that you've tried everything to get over him, then you're going to have to take some more extreme measures. Here are some suggestions: ,1 Since you have 40 friends in common and instead of blocking everyone, it's probably better to deactivate your Facebook until you get over him. Once you've recovered, you can reactivate it if you want. During that time you can keep in touch with friends via phone or IM. ,2 Block him on IM and email, so that he cannot contact you. If you want, you can even change your phone number, so he can't call you. ,3 You have to let your common friends know that you need to recover from this breakup, so you would prefer not attending the same social gatherings. So if your friends respected you, they will take that into consideration when inviting people out. Until you've fully recovered from the break up, you'll have to sit out a few social gatherings where he's present. ,4 Hang out with more friends and family. Keep your mind occupied. It's easier said than done, but just find other hobbies. Meet new people. Just do something to get your mind off him. ,Last month he went with me to a baseball game for work joking around and just generally having a good time. We hooked up afterward bad idea i know i knew it was only because we were both drunk at the time not that he wanted to get back together. ,Even though you have been broken up for 3 months, you have never broken the attachment, and even had sex. Your right bad idea all around and being drunk is a big excuse, that doesn't wash.get pelted with eggs for being black ,Before he was the eponymous tortured detective in Luther, before he was a regal Nelson Mandela in Long Walk to Freedom, before he was even The Wealth of Nations toting drug kingpin Stringer Bell in The Wire, Idris Elba was a schoolboy on a bus in east London being pelted with eggs by racists. ,"My school, Trinity, was just off the Barking Rd, which would take all the National Front supporters to the football at West Ham," he remembers, leaning forward on a sofa in a production office, in London's Holborn, that smells of expensive candles and industriousness. ,"They'd come past our school, and if we got on that bus on a game day . mate, if you were Indian or black you were getting it. Eggs thrown at you, the whole thing," he says. ,Even in his youth, Elba was not easily intimidated, but this was something new. Before his family moved to Canning Town, they'd lived on the Holly Street Estate in the more ethnically amorphous borough of Hackney, where he was born in 1972. His mother, Eve, is Ghanaian and his father, Winston, was a Sierra Leonean who worked at Ford's in Dagenham. ,READ MORE: ,Guerrilla's Idris Elba on why the 1970s race drama is relevant today ,Idris Elba breaks hearts by revealing ultimate celebrity crush ,British actor Idris Elba auctions Valentine's date for charity ,Actor Idris Elba was 'taking hits and it didn't feel good' so he became a kickboxer ,"It was probably one of the most diverse workplaces you could have," recalls Elba, who would later work the night shift there. ,"I'd been shielded from racial tension, but when we moved I felt it full whack. It was a National Front area and there were no black people. I remember walking down the street and being called a 'black .'. No one talked like that in Hackney., Elba found himself thinking back to these moments while working on Guerrilla ,Created by John Ridley are florida ids easy to fake texas laws about fake ids fake NewJersey id card make fake id card for fb

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